I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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