Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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