So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
