This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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