The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
