I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
