im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
A bitchslap is in order.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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