Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
