i just google imaged poop.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
