Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Mom said you looked used
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
COCAINE IS GR8
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
