Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
