Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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