she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
