fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize