Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
