i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
