If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
