Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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