This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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