I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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