So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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