you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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