i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
