so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
