I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
