Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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