I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
