Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
