She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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