I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
