I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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