if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
