i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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