i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
