So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
