What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
