so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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