he puts the penis in happiness.
Quick, to the slutcave!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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