You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
