i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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