Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
