the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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