she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
