Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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