i don't like sucking hair
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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