good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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