I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
