Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Semen is not good for contacts.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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