Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
