Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
