YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
