the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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