"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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