the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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