You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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