I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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