I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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