She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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