At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
