Where are you?
In a non slutty way
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
