Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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