3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
